I’m going to start writing here. It’s an abyss, I know. But here’s the thing- I got a degree in writing from a semi-bunk liberal arts college and I’m doing literally nothing with it. So why not start here? On this blank WordPress without my full name or anything to identify me. What could go wrong? I had a WordPress site in college where I posted my corny poetry and lines-of-dread hoping that my crush would click on it and feel something for me. It’s still out there. Maybe someday I’ll share the hyperlink.

But that’s here nor there. I guess I just don’t know where to start. How the fuck does one start a blog? Are blogs even real anymore or is it just an imagined concept I latched onto when I was 13 and scrolling tumblr nightly? Or maybe it’s just Carrie Bradshaw’s voice stuck in my head and the image of her sitting at her laptop in her little brownstone walk up, answering the unanswered (and somehow still making money off of it).

It doesn’t matter cause I’m just going to write here anyway. I already paid for the domain and I don’t want it to be another one of those yearly costs that suddenly gets sucked out of my bank account with no warning. Just a sudden “Your Account Balance is Below Chosen Alert Limit” email that feels like both a death sentence and a wish.

So here it is: I’m 23. I live in Chicago. I’m constantly wondering if I truly need help.